I really like to please the people around me. I always nod my head in agreement and say yes when people ask me to do things. I just don't want to make people upset or disappoint them. I like pushing myself and proving that I can really do it. Also, I hate letting people down. I will get something done when I say I will because otherwise I will feel beyond guilty. At the same time, I am a perfectionist who takes her time with everything and puts in 100%. Meaning I spend way too much time of everything and over burden myself. I don't know if its the slight OCD in me that just wants to do everything her way or the fact that I hate saying "no." Even typing out the word tastes bitter.
However, you cannot please everyone. Sometimes you have to think of yourself and your own happiness. Today I had to say no to someone and it literally hurt me to the core and I physically could not do it. Even though I knew I was doing it so that I would ultimately be happy I still couldn't let the person down. I got roped into doing something I did not want to do because I couldn't simply say no. This is when I came to the realization that I need to learn how to say no.
Really taking the time to consider options and legitimately considering whether I can add them onto my plate or whether I can't. Even though something may sound extremely enticing, saying no will be more beneficial to your health in the long run. My mom gave me a big talk today where she counseled me on the proper methods on how to say no. I came to the realization that the only two people I can actually say no to, with confidence, are my parents. Maybe its the fact that I am still technically a teenage (less than 2 months till I'm 20!!) and I need to get it out of my system. My mom suggested that if I ever feel guilty about saying no to someone that I should pretend it is her and that will make it easier (#wisewords from the mother dearest).
I also realized that I am much better at saying no to someone when it is not in person or over the phone. Therefore, when I can either email or text someone a response I can say no. I think its the fact that it is a lot less personal and I feel less guilty about saying no to a device than the person on the other line. So I plan on taking her advice to college where saying yes can make your weeks a living hell (trust me). Maybe starting small I can slowly develop the confidence to say no.
How do you guys deal with saying no? Do you have any strategies?