Saying No

July 24, 2014

I really like to please the people around me.  I always nod my head in agreement and say yes when people ask me to do things.  I just don't want to make people upset or disappoint them.  I like pushing myself and proving that I can really do it.  Also, I hate letting people down.  I will get something done when I say I will because otherwise I will feel beyond guilty.  At the same time, I am a perfectionist who takes her time with everything and puts in 100%.  Meaning I spend way too much time of everything and over burden myself.  I don't know if its the slight OCD in me that just wants to do everything her way or the fact that I hate saying "no."  Even typing out the word tastes bitter.

However, you cannot please everyone.  Sometimes you have to think of yourself and your own happiness.  Today I had to say no to someone and it literally hurt me to the core and I physically could not do it.  Even though I knew I was doing it so that I would ultimately be happy I still couldn't let the person down.  I got roped into doing something I did not want to do because I couldn't simply say no.  This is when I came to the realization that I need to learn how to say no.


Really taking the time to consider options and legitimately considering whether I can add them onto my plate or whether I can't.  Even though something may sound extremely enticing, saying no will be more beneficial to your health in the long run.  My mom gave me a big talk today where she counseled me on the proper methods on how to say no.  I came to the realization that the only two people I can actually say no to, with confidence, are my parents.  Maybe its the fact that I am still technically a teenage (less than 2 months till I'm 20!!) and I need to get it out of my system.  My mom suggested that if I ever feel guilty about saying no to someone that I should pretend it is her and that will make it easier (#wisewords from the mother dearest).

I also realized that I am much better at saying no to someone when it is not in person or over the phone.  Therefore, when I can either email or text someone a response I can say no.  I think its the fact that it is a lot less personal and I feel less guilty about saying no to a device than the person on the other line.  So I plan on taking her advice to college where saying yes can make your weeks a living hell (trust me).  Maybe starting small I can slowly develop the confidence to say no.

How do you guys deal with saying no?  Do you have any strategies?

xoxo

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