I've been on a mental hiatus these past few weeks. I'm not really quite sure why because I always have blog ideas and writing concepts in my head at all times but something totally weighed down my brain recently. Between the stressful week of midterm exams and worrying about what to do for a summer job and for how long I want to study abroad I have been consumed in the future. I know I often write on here about how I worry about the future a lot but it has become a reality to me that this concept plagues my consciousness.
I really want to try and work more on living full-heartedly (is that a word?) in the present. Whether it being something something new every day or doing something that makes me happy every day. I don't want to go to bed answering the question "How was your day? / What did you do today?" with answers like "Eh. / Not much. / Kind of boring. / etc." Each day should be something unique and special.
Being in college I find the days run together so easily. Wake up. Go to class. Go to the library. Go to meetings. Go to bed. Through in the usual meals and this is pretty much the average day. On one level this makes me sad. I want something utterly amazing to happen every single day. I know that is far-fetched and slightly extreme but isn't it what we should all be dreaming of. On a second level, I love the routine of college. There is something so safe and secure about college. I feel like I know my place in the mini bubble.
I know the phrase "Live each day to the fullest" (or some version of that) is overused and trite. Instead I want to rebrand that to simply "Be Present." The simplicity adds to the weight. You can take it be mean whatever you want or applies to the struggle you are going through. Whether it be more present in school, more present in your family, more present in life. On the literal regards, this means for me that I should worry more about today and less about a week from now. And while I disgust planning with a burning passion, my thoughts of the past dwell more in what will I be doing then. I want to let life flow instead have it mapped out in a straight arrow.