April 2, 2014

Making Mends

So I am the first one to admit that I hold grudges.  Like for a long time.  It really isn't good because it makes me lose a lot of friends because I can never simply forget things people do.  In my mind people don't really change all that often and the poor actions they make show their true colors and feelings.  I know that is the complete wrong attitude and I am trying to change.

Recent events have forced me to question these ideals I have.  So I got in a major fight with some of my friends about a month ago and haven't talked to them since.  They messed up and have completely ignored the situation.  I am not quite sure why all of this happened but I guess it is for the best.  Because why would I want to be friends with people who can hurt people so easily?  But then again, they were my best friends for practically all of my first year here at college.  So what do I do?

It has been a tug and pull between many options.  Its hard to go back to the friendships that we once had but we were such good friends that I don't want to lose that.  But at the same time I think it is already lost.  So then it comes time for moving on.  But how can you move on when the other people haven't even acknowledged that anything was wrong?  And then every time you open your dorm their door is staring back at you and you are reminded all over again of what happened.

So I think I am going to try to turn over a new leaf and make mends with people.  I don't have to completely return to the old relationships but smoothing things over is a start.  Holding grudges has only hurt me in the past so I think it is time that I change my ways and forget some of my old grudges.  Hopefully this will keep me more positive and less guarded in the future too.

How do you guys handle drama or conflict?  Are you quick to forgive and forget or do you hold grudges like me?

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